Robaxacocksuckers

Disclaimer: this post is not about cyborg porn; now that I consider it, however, it seems that whatever I write here will be a disappointment when taken in that context.

So I watched Trailer Park Boys: The Movie, and I was pleasantly amused. I hadn't really seen the show before, but I think I might make a point of checking it out. I have also developed some new personal goals after having spent an evening with those incorrigable cretins; I have decided that I need to improve my life by adding the following things:

1) Ownership of doorless car/bed
2) Rocks glass perpetually full of rye and coke
3) Kitties. Lots and lots of kitties
4) Pathetic hangers-on
5) Trailer trash female company
6) Whenever a multisyllabic word can be altered to end in "cocksucker," I must ensure that it is

Shit, by those criteria I'm a lot further ahead in life than I had thought.

Anyway, as some of you know, I tore my left rotator cuff at work the other day; as a result, I have even more license than usual to experiment with muscle relaxants. I had been taking Robaxasol, which helped to some degree but didn't really, you know, bring the serious relaxation. Yesterday a friend of mine gave me a few Robaxacets, which I promptly ingested, and I don't know if it was because I was fuckass-drunk or not, but I started relaxing like a goddamn sonofabitch. I fell asleep watching Anchorman (with the H-Barj, his dog Sam-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'am, and my good friend William Bumcakes, Esq.) and let me tell you, there was some fucked up shit going on in my very relaxed brain. I had dreams that dismantled ego, dreams that destroyed empires, dreams that drank eternities, yet I awoke to find that only half a line of dialogue had elapsed in the film. Trust me, you wanna hurt some of your musculature as soon as possible.